CASE STUDY

CASE STUDY

    Attribution theory, by fritz Heider, is a very simple theory that explains why and how people explain their behavior and the behaviors of others. There are two classifications that can be used to explain people's behavior. These two classifications are: external and internal attribution. External attribution is a factor that lies outside of the individual, this occurs when you are influenced to behave a certain way by a factor that is beyond your control. It is known as a situational attribution, because the behavior is brought on by some situation that was experienced. The second factor is Internal attribution, This comes from the inside of the individual, it is controlled, and not influenced by any situation. This factor is also known as Dispositional attribution because it is not based of a situation and can be controlled. Below is a scenario that displays examples of both internal and external attribution classifications.   

     Ashley went up to the counter first, ordering a coffee and muffin.  Christina was next.    

    "Hi," Christina greeted the young man behind the counter.

    "Hey, what can I get you?" he puffed.

    "I want a bacon, egg, and chesese sandwich and a medium coffee, light with three sugars."

    He punched her order in and announced the total of $6.45 to her.

    Christina shuffled through her wallet for a few moments.  She then pulled out a 50 dollar bill and handed it to him.

   He looked at the bill dissaprovingly.  "Do you happen to have anything smaller than this?" he asked.

    Christina rolled her eyes, "no.  No I don't.  You can't break that?  It's not like it's a 100," she said.

    Ashley was mortified.  Oh no, not this again, she thought to herself.  Why does Christina have to be so difficult sometimes?  There is no need to get an attitude like that with the guy.  Ughh.  She can be such an unpleasant person sometimes.  However Ashley remained silent as she watched as the young man behind the counter answered that he could break it, it was just that he was running low in his drawer.

    He took the bill unenthusiastically, broke it, and handed Christina her coffee about a minute later.  She took one sip.  Ashley watched as her nose wrinkled in disgust and her eyes narrowed.  She braced herself, knowing this wasn't good.

    "What is it?" Ashley asked urgently.

    "Ugh.  Hold on..." she made her way towards the counter again.  Oh no, Ashley dreaded.

    "Um, excuse me!" she waved to get the young man's attention.  "Yeah, so there's definitely no sugar in my coffee at all and I definitely asked for three sugars," she snapped.

    "Oh, I thought I put sugar in there, I must have forgot," he answered cooly.

    "Yeah, I guess you must have," she retorted. 

    "Well I can put some in now if you want," he offered unenthusiastically.

    "No.  It's fine, I can do it myself there's sugar over here," she answered, swirling around.

    Ashley could feel her face heating up.  Why does she have to do this?!  I hate when she let's her rude and impatient side come out!  Even if he did forget to put sugar in, there was no reason to yell at him for it if she was just going to do it herself anyway!  Plus, it's not even that big of a deal!  I just want to smack her!  She's acting like a spoiled, immature, little brat!  Ashley continued fuming inwardly at her annoyance with Christina.

    "Christina," Ashley said in a mid-whisper, "it's really not that big of a deal!  Why'd you freak out like that?"

    "Freak out?  I didn't freak out," she answered, ripping open a sugar packet.  "That guy was giving me an attitude the whole time, I just thought he should know that I noticed him purposely not putting any sugar in my coffee."

    "Oh my God, Chris!  That's ridiculous!  He probably just forgot.  Ughh.  I'm just going to go sit down over at that table and you can meet me when you get your sandwich."

    Ashley was in disbelief.  Purposely not putting any sugar in her coffee?  She's so crazy! 

    After Christina got her sandwich she came to the table sat down. Ashley was staring at Christina with a look of disgust on her face.

    Christina asked, “What? What’s wrong? why are you looking at me like that?” as she opened up her sandwich, and notice that they didn’t put any ketchup on her sandwich. She got up and stormed up to the counter yelling at the sandwich maker, “I told you that I wanted ketchup on my sandwich!” as she slammed it down on the counter.

    The sandwich maker was frustrated and apologized.    

    Christina replied “yea you do that, and try to do it right this time.”

    Ashley, back at the table sat down shaking her head, as she sat she mumbled “I can’t stand when she acts like this, sometimes I am embarrassed to be seen with her.”

Shortly after Christina joined Ashley at the table, as they sat there was a heavy tension between the two girls. It was clear that Ashley was upset with Christina’s behavior, a minute had passed and not a word had been said between the two girls.

    Christina bit into her bacon egg and cheese sandwich, wiped her face and asked Ashley if she was not going to talk to her all throughout their breakfast.

    Ashley replied, "It's just you know that I don’t like when you act that way. I really think that you need to work a little harder on controlling your temper. I mean they made mistakes that were very minor it wasn‘t anything for you to get so angry about.” She then added “You act like this all the time.”

       Christina quickly replied “are you serious I don’t act like this all the time.”

    Ashley cutting her off before she was able to fully explain herself, “What about two weeks ago when we ate at Mr. Chow’s, you nearly got kicked out of the restaurant. Or what about a week before that when we were at the pizza shop, and you yelled at the server because he didn’t heat your pizza up enough!"

    Christina then replied by saying, “Alright, alright I get your point. Lately I have been trying to be better at controlling my self. It's just that today I have been having a really bad day. I Tossed and turned all night because I had to sleep on the couch last night due to the fact that my mom is visiting, so therefore I was very tired when I woke up. On top of the fact that I am very tired, it seemed like there was a problem with everything that I ordered. So if I came off a little cranky today, that’s why.”

 

Question 1. Do you think that all types of behavior can be classified into these two different factors internal, and external?

 

Question 2. What kind of attribution style do you think you tend to use more often when applying causes to your behaviors both negative and positive?

Question 3. What type of Attribution Theory do you notice from this case study? Give an example.

Question 4. Think of an example from your life where you have displayed External Attribution. (When you were influenced to behave a certain way that was beyond your control?)

 

 

Attribution Theory Case Study

http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dgrw2rzr_1g356drcd&hl=en

The Family

The foundation and origin of the immediate family are the parents and all other relations within that family tend to stem from the one between the parents. That is certainly true in my family situation anyway. I would say that my parents jump between a total and passive-congenial marriage style. They both work during the day – my mom five days a week and my dad sometimes six. My mom usually gets home around five and my dad usually arrives home closer to six. They do make a point to spend time together during the week usually by watching television in their room and discussing their days in the kitchen or living room.

I noticed that my mom is definitely the main person that my dad communicates with. This is directly related with one of the three cores of communication satisfaction, thoughts. In my dad’s mind, my mother is the only person he thinks he should be concerned about updating with the day to day goings on in his life. He demonstrates this by telling her about the events – both good and frustrating – of his day at work as a contractor. My mom is a great listener and tends to be very honest and open with my dad. My dad has also told my sisters and me on numerous occasions that he considers my mom to be his best friend. There is an undeniable degree of closeness in my parents’ marriage.

However, to call their marriage a “vital marriage,” would not be accurate. There are many factors in each of my parents’ lives and tendencies that keep them apart perhaps more than they’d like. My mom does all the grocery shopping and my dad cannot stand to go shopping. On top of his absolute contempt for shopping, he is often exhausted after work and does not want to step foot outside the house again. My sisters and I always almost accompany my mom shopping and it often becomes quite the outing. During these (at least) weekly shopping outings, my parents are apart. My mom, sisters, and I also go to a church that my dad has no interest in attending with us. We’re working on him and I am hopeful that one day he will decide to try the church out, but as of now, he stubbornly refuses to go. So, the entirety of our typical Sunday afternoons is also lacking our dad.

Over the years, my dad has become more of a solitary person. His social life consists of his family and that is basically it. My mom, on the other hand, has lots of friends outside the family that she spends time with. This difference in social lives sometimes leads to conflict in their relationship. I know that both of my parents would like to spend more time with one another but my Dad’s stubbornness often gets in the way of that. My mom definitely uses the more productive conflict management style.

Through words, another one of the three cores of communication and satisfaction, she explains to him that she’s sick of going places by herself all the time and how she wishes he would come with her more often. She often communicates her dissatisfaction with this particular tendency of his. She told me that early on in their marriage, she would always let things slide and not speak what was on her mind, but now my mom makes a point to be in constant communication with my dad about how she’s feeling whether it’s something he wants to hear or not.

This method that my mom uses with my dad is slowly, but surely yielding positive results. Recently, everyone in my family has been noticing definite improvements in my Dad. He’s slowly, but surely become less stubborn and more open. A few weeks ago he went to a movie with my mom which, silly as it may sound, was a huge step for him. The movie theater is another one of the many places he hates going, but my mom really wanted to see the movie, so he went with her. I was astonished to hear this great news seeing as the last movie they saw in the theater together was “Saving Private Ryan.” It was even a chick flick! I honestly do believe that my father’s intentions are in the right place, but his thoughts and stubbornness are what need to be altered – which is something only he can do. But it’s exciting to see him starting to break through this barrier and finally responding in a productive way to my mom’s honesty with him.

This relates directly to the last of the three cores of communication and satisfaction, emotions. Through hearing my mom’s words of dissatisfaction about how he isolates himself from many family and nearly all outside-family functions and processing her dissatisfaction in his thoughts, my dad (although I am sure he would deny it) must have felt guilty. Since he loves and cares about my mom, her expressed dissatisfaction with a particular behavior of his affected his emotions and consequently affected his actions as well.

To demonstrate a communication rule that goes along with what I illustrated above between my father and mother, I’ll use an example. A few years ago, a friend of my mother’s invited my mom and her family to come to a barbeque she was holding at her house. Although my mom accepted the invitation and took my sisters and I along, none of us even expected my Dad to go. Though she did mention it to him and told him that she was unhappy with his refusing, none of us were shocked in the least bit at this. To the contrary, we fully expected my dad to “snore” this gathering (as he calls it).

To venture away from the relationship between my parents and its effect on our family unit, my two sisters, Megan and Julia must be mentioned. There is nobody else that I am closer to than my two sisters and they truly are and always will be my best friends. They (and my mother) are the only people that I can say, with absolute certainty; know exactly who I am, through and through. We use all six of the sibling maintenance behaviors in our relationships with one another – humor, social support, family events, escape, and verbal aggression (Campbell Eichorn 297). Since we can (and do) tell anything and everything to each other, we often go to one another for social support by talking about our problems and getting advice from one another. We also use our relationships as means of escape during difficult times in our lives. This is because we feel totally safe and secure around each other.

I also strongly identified with the last behavior, verbal aggression. Since we know that we can say exactly what we want and how we feel around each other without judgment, it is easy for us to vent our frustrations with one another. Though, as the book noted, it may sound like a negative behavior, this usually turns out to be a positive thing. Nothing is ever able to sit and fester – as soon as a problem arises between us it is automatically and bluntly addressed. There is no, as we discussed in class, “pile-up” between us since we immediately address our aggravations when they arise.

To conclude and return to the foundational block of a family – the parents – I return back to my mother and father. Although I think my parents have a lot of great qualities about their relationship, when I get married I want to have a vital marriage relationship with my husband. For me to marry someone, it would take a tremendous degree of mutual love and trust. When you love someone, you want to spend a lot of time with them. Even if the activity is not something that one partner is particularly excited about, I want a marriage where we both recognize that getting to be with each other outweighs that.

As illustrated in class, couples will often make sacrifices for one another – like watching a movie or a sports game that they aren’t particularly interested in, but doing it anyway because the other person is. While of course, having time apart to continue growing as my own person is essential, I want the kind of marriage where this is concept we talked about in class is constantly in practice – either because love compels us to or because we consciously make the decision to act out of the love we have for each other.

Cleaning House and Moving On

I have had to “clean house” in my life on many different occasions, for many different reasons, and in many different ways. Reflecting back on the experiences I have had with cleaning house, the behavioral house cleanings are the ones that stick out the most in my mind and have had the biggest, most profound impacts on my life.

The most recent example of this happened just over the summer. For as long as I could remember, I found myself engaging in a counterproductive and destructive behavior in nearly every relationship I had. I had become a master at responding to others – even those I called my “closest friends” – in a way that I thought they wanted me to respond, not in the honest way that I, as my own person, naturally wanted to. I felt so drained and miserable and I realized this was because all of the years of me trying desperately to stifle who I was, what I wanted, and what I thought, were finally catching up with me.

As I thought more about it and observed myself closer, I realized that this self-suppression was something I had been doing for so long that it had become virtually automatic! I was devastated at this realization that nobody truly knew me. Of course this was a painful and intense reality to face, but at the same time, it was surprisingly liberating that I was finally able to see my situation for what it was.

There was a sudden clarity about everything that had never existed before. Upon that realization was when I decided to take immediate steps to clean house of this people-pleasing, self-stifling behavior. To the best of my ability, I started doing things like relaxing and being myself around friends. I stopped comparing myself to others. I started saying what I felt and thought, instead of sugarcoating, watering down, or completely denying it altogether. I stopped being afraid that others would not want to be around me if I showed them my true self and I decided that if the friends I had were worth the investment, they would accept me for who I was and those that weren’t would be simply filtered out.

By making this cleaning-house decision a top priority to live out in my everyday life, I was sent on a natural high for days. I felt a freedom I had never before experienced. Essentially, by cleaning house of this particular behavior, I was putting into action what I had known to be true for years but was unable to actually live out in my life until that point.

The natural process of maturation and learning brought me to a place where I could be brave enough to start living the way that I both wanted and needed to. This cleaning house experience was directly related to the self determination theory – I needed to feel free to choose my own path in my relationships instead of being coerced or pressured into certain behaviors (Campbell Eichorn 244). Like I said, this was a behavior I had engaged in for years, so it has been a process trying to break free from it. Every day I still have to consciously make an effort to live out the decision that I made to clean house of self-suppression. I know that I still have a long way to go, but I also know that I am on the right track.

Another example that came straight to my mind was a less recent, but very important cleaning house decision that I made about a year and a half ago. Starting the summer before entering my senior year of high school, I had been continuously losing weight. I put myself on a restrictive, harsh diet and although my original intent was to lose only the few pounds that I had gained my junior year, I would up losing way more than I had intended and than what was healthy. It got to a point where I could no longer deny that what I was doing was detrimental to my health and needed to stop.

It had become all about control. I was at a time in my life where I felt uncertain and scared and I wanted to feel completely in control of at least one thing. Food and body image became that one thing that I felt was within my ability to control, so that was where I focused most of my energy. I was definitely caught in a strange loop as I obsessed over this one aspect of my life as a way to avoid dealing with everything else that I felt was out of my control. It was difficult for me to get to the place where I could fully acknowledge this and even more difficult for me to change my mind set in order to change the behavior.

My decision to clean house meant I completely stopped counting calories and allowed myself to slowly, but surely gain weight back until I was at a healthy weight again. I had to constantly make a conscious effort to let go of my need to be so rigid with myself and my fear of gaining weight. Cleaning house from this behavior has been a long process because of all the causal, under the surface issues that I had to (and continue to) work through and deal with. The hardest part of all was facing these problems I had been avoiding.

As difficult as it was, as I slowly began to live out my decision to clean house of this behavior, I became much happier and, of course, healthier. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I could trust myself way more than I thought I could and that I liked how I looked at a healthy weight. Similar to my first example, I was elated with the freedom I felt by cleaning house from this behavior.

In both of these cleaning house experiences, self-forgiveness played a big part in me moving forward with my life. Especially since, technically, I was the only one to blame for the messes I had gotten myself into. I had to deal with feelings of anger and disgust towards myself. “Once you grant yourself forgiveness you can focus on how to become a better person and make healthier choices in the future,” (Campbell Eichorn 254). That was absolutely true for me – the house was could not be truly clean until I forgave myself.

"Every time I tried to be what they wanted from me

It never came naturally, so I ended up in misery

Was unable to see all the good around me

Wasted so much energy on what they thought of me

Than simply just remembering to breathe

I'm humanly unable to please everyone at the same time

So now I find my peace of mind living one day at a time"
-- Christina Aguilera

The Awkward, Bittersweet, Discomforts of Learning

When I am criticized I feel many different emotions at once. A few that come to mind are self – conscious and flawed, but attentive and open to what the criticizer is saying – and that is just scratching the surface. However, I have definitely learned how to take criticism. In fact, every piece of constructive criticism that I can remember receiving, I wound up truly appreciating. The response I tend to have when receiving criticism is reflected in my Emotional Intelligence score of an average 104.

If I had a lower EQ, I probably would not be able to appreciate the constructive criticism I have received nor would I be able to be as attentive and reflective as I am about criticism. A less emotionally intelligent me might shut down and block out what the criticizer was saying. However, a more emotionally intelligent me – which is what I fully intend to become – would probably be less fearful of and unnecessarily sensitive about criticism. It is not uncommon for me to futilely beat myself up over what someone told me to improve on before I do what I should have done originally – receive the criticism as an indication of areas where I may be able to grow and take steps to do so.

As far as giving criticism is concerned, at my worst, I can be too beat-around-the-bush, so I won’t offend the person – which does not end up helping anyone and just reflects insecurity in me. At my best I can be very tactful and sensitive and still effectively get my point across in a direct, but non-abrasive fashion. Both these positive and negative aspects of my criticizing skills are definitely reflected in my EQ score.

I tend to get along well with co-workers and classmates for group projects or extracurricular activities because I am sensitive to others, a good listener, and a hard worker. In the past, bosses have found me to be a very reliable, therefore, trustworthy employee. However, in school, I have always disliked group projects. I much prefer working alone and depending on myself to get jobs done.

I used the LMX (Leader-member exchange) theory a lot during my three plus year employment at a dollar store in my hometown without even realizing it in two superior-subordinate relationships (Campbell Eichorn 316). My manager, Toni, and I developed a high LMX relationship by establishing connections between us through conversation about things like our families (we were both very family-oriented), pets, and certain customers. “The more similar two people perceive themselves to be, the more attractive they are to one another…result in increased interaction between among leaders and members, thus contributing to the level of trust” (Campbell Eichorn 318).

I also used this theory with my assistant manager, Kevin. I was honestly scared of Kevin when I first started working there because he was a very sarcastic person who seemed to get kicks out of teasing other employees – especially new ones. Over time, however, he and I started talking about movies and television shows and found that we had an extremely similar taste in these areas. Once that similarity was established between the two of us, we went on to have a friendly working relationship. I am also able to take a joke, laugh, and not take it personally. This also made it easy for Kevin to get along with me and we communicated primarily through making fun of one another.

If I was not happy (or not having my needs met) at work or at school, I cannot imagine my personal life would not suffer while such a huge area of dissatisfaction in my life was always on my mind. Through much of Elementary and Middle School, I found myself very unhappy being there - between the difficulties I had feeling as though I belonged with my peers and the several teachers I had that caused me to feel stupid and inadequate. My hatred for school definitely impacted my out-of-school life significantly, causing me to be depressed.

In a work or school setting, the two basic needs on Maslow’s Hierarchy– physiological and safety (Campbell Eichorn 14) – obviously need to be met before satisfaction is even in the realm of possibilities. To reach the next need of belongingness, I have to interact with others whether they are new friends, co-workers, or bosses, to form connections with them. Like I said above, in Elementary and Middle School, I never fully reached "belongingness," which caused me to have an overall negative experience with school. Only after reaching belongingness can the fourth level of self-esteem be experienced. Once that fourth level is reached, it possible to move onto the final level of self-actualization. Luckily, here at Rider, I feel that reaching this final level is possible and that I am on my way toward it.

However, in college it can be difficult to find a balance between doing well while still having a satisfying social life. This has certainly been a trial-and-error process for me so far. Like many freshman, I had difficulty finding this balance during my first year. Unlike many freshmen, I submerged myself in the work and studying aspect of college, while my social life suffered, causing unhappiness and loneliness. I have learned that while doing well in school should be my first priority, I need to set aside time each day to hang out with and talk to my friends. I am much more relaxed about school work this year and have developed better stress management skills.

However, I know I never could have gotten to that place if I did not recognize and learn from my mistakes last year. The learning process can be painful and confusing, but I've found that the lesson finally learned is always worth all the unpleasantness endured while learning it.

My Communication Audit

What better way to get an overview of what your communication style looks like to others than to directly ask the people that you regularly communicate with? I can’t think of one. However, I could not help but take notice of my extreme reluctance in having to actually ask the people I knew what their perceptions of my communication were. This reluctance made me realize that I am uncomfortable with metacommunication or, communication about communication (Campbell Eichorn 11).

However, when I finally did ask some close friends and family members what their perceptions of my verbal and nonverbal communication were, I was pleasantly surprised. I got responses such as fun, friendly, casual, and focused from a few friends I had asked. I was also delighted to hear from a good friend I had a “direct” style of communication. I have been working to improve my assertive communication skills for years now due to the trouble that lack of assertiveness got me into in earlier years. Although I know I have a ways to go, it was exciting to hear that my communication style bares even a noticeable resemblance to direct!

The assertive communication section on page 343 in Interpersonal Communication was something of particular interest to me. I liked how it dissected assertion into three components – empathy, rationale, and action. Seeing it laid out like that made it easier to work these specific components into my relationships.

When I got sick of all the positive feedback, I went to the brutal honesty of my sisters. They also said that when I am angry, my communication can be less than effective with my tendency to yell and swear, throwing “empathy” and “rationale” out the window. I couldn’t argue with my need for improvement in this area. All in all though, hearing what others had to say about my communication made me realize that I am far more critical of myself and my communication than anyone I am communicating with.

In a combination of what others noticed and what I noticed, I compiled this top-ten list of topics I most often talk about. The more colorful, the more I know. The blacker, the less I know:

My family
School
My friends
My feelings
Other’s lives and issues (giving advice)
My life and issues
Interests
Men
Food
About others (gossiping or venting)

I didn’t feel comfortable declaring through color that I knew everything about any one topic listed. There are always some black areas. I noticed that some areas that I did not feel I knew much about such as food – I am no nutritionist, and men – they still seem like somewhat of a different species to me, still came up a lot in conversation simply because I am passionate about both topics. I love food and I am naturally attracted to guys.

The most recent example of communication anxiety that comes to mind happened over the summer. My aunt’s mother died suddenly and tragically from throat cancer. Before arriving at her wake, I felt very anxious about how I would approach my aunt and her family and what kinds of things I should or should not say. I took things one step at a time and tried to make sure I was constantly acting and speaking out of love for my aunt and her family that night. I showed my love and sympathy mainly through hugs and listening diligently to what the priest said, rather than through talking.

A big part of the reason why I was able to effectively handle this situation had to do with my personality and the kind of listener I am. I most closely identify with the people-oriented listener (Campbell Eichorn 136). I find that when I communicate with others my objective is almost always to relate to and form connections with them. This may be why I notice people tend to come to me for advice and advice giving is one of my top ten conversation topics. Although, as indicated, I may not always know everything about that person or what advice to give, I do listen.

Reading the stories about Jim and Steve, who are paraplegic, filled me with empathy towards their struggles and helped to reinforce that their identity as human beings always needs to come first. I could relate in a way because my father lost the bottom half of his left leg in a motorcycle accident right before I was born. Like Jim, my dad has always been a very independent person and hates being the object of sympathy. These stories definitely confirmed what I have observed in my dad over the years and struck a chord with me.

Through conducting this audit of my communication I learned that while it is important to be able to reflect internally, it is equally as important to be comfortable asking for feedback from other people. The fact of the matter is that people need other people and that communication is fundamental to this need. Some seem to be more in tune with that fact than others and I hope to become more so myself. The classic Ella Ftizgerald song, “People” came to mind as I wrapped this entry up:

"People" Lyrics

"People, people who need people
Are the luckiest people in the world
We’re children needing other children
And yet letting our grown-up pride
Hide all the need inside"

Hello, I'm Kaitlin. Nice to Meet You.

So who am I really? Shallowly, my name is Kaitlin and I am a Communications major with a track in speech and interpersonal communication and a minor in Political Science. A little less shallowly, to reflect my organized nature, I will list the first five adjectives that popped into my head as I was asked to describe myself. I will then elaborate on each of them. Here they were: driven, introverted, creative, opinionated, and sensitive.

I am driven, as a full-time college student balancing my GPA and campus involvement. I am an introverted reflector and find inspiration more from within than any other place. Since I am a big reflector, the question of who I am is not one I haven’t thought about before. I am also creative in my own way, especially as it pertains to writing.

My ideal career would be one where I am able to express myself through writing and independent innovation. In fact, writing has been the only persistent passion throughout my life. I have always had a very vivid imagination and used to write novels (never published, though) for fun when I was only eleven years old.

I am opinionated and rarely apathetic in any matter. I am sensitive – sometimes to a fault – and usually quick to pick up on and respond to signals from others. Although this was not one of the adjectives I chose, my Christian faith is also a major part of my life and who I am. My mother is primarily responsible for introducing me to these beliefs and instilling them in me.

When asked to write down five of the most important people in my life, each and every person was a family member – my mother, two sisters, father, and grandmother (or “Granny” as we call her). They are the most crucial people in my life. The ultimate I-thous. Nobody knows me like they do. My younger sisters and I are within three years of one another and I would definitely consider them my two best friends. I am also close with my parents and rarely go a day without talking to my mom on the phone at least twice.

Being away at college here in New Jersey, separated from the family I am so close to back home in Connecticut, has certainly been quite a positive character–building experience for me. However when I end phone conversations with my mom in, “can’t wait to live within spitting distance!” I truly do mean that. I feel that near my family is ultimately where I belong.

The me that I envision tomorrow is more assertive, self assured, self-accepting, decisive, honest, open, communicative, and firmly rooted in my religious beliefs than the me that is today. I am always working towards this envisioned me, but I do sometimes have to make sure I am not too hard on myself in the process since I tend to be, by far, my own worst critic.

Self confidence was never something that came naturally to me, but through my mid-teen years up until now, my confidence has slowly, but surely began to develop and continues to. To be honest, I have never truly felt like my own person until recently. Through this, I’ve realized that I need to know and embrace who I am now before I can ever become the person that I want to be.